


A Meeting of the Minds

by CapnThatguy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars Original Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Dimension Travel, It's 2000 words of silliness I needed to get out of my head, Sort Of, Spoilers: Smeagol keeps the hat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 20:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14701176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnThatguy/pseuds/CapnThatguy
Summary: Three tiny sidekick characters walk into a bar...





	A Meeting of the Minds

A small, long-eared creature rose from his sleep, the half-dozen hats he wore even to bed wobbling precariously, to find that he was not in the place he had been the night before. Where there had been the small beds of the house-elf quarters, there was now a wide clearing, with plush green grass in place of his bed. Deep woods surrounded him about a dozen yards away in every direction, and directly in front of him stood a wide stone pillar, engraved with runes he did not recognize. The elf stood, brushing the dirt off his sweater and gloves as he spun around warily.

“Where has Hogwarts gone? If Master Malfoy has done something to Dobby, to try and punish him, Dobby swears he will-“ 

An anguished cry broke through his shouts. As Dobby spun around and stepped to his left, he saw a strange creature, screaming and pounding its fists on the earth, tearing out clumps of grass with each motion. The being was slightly taller than Dobby, and much longer-limbed, with the same skin tone and wide eyes. However, it wore naught but a loincloth compared to the elf’s multitude of clothing, and its ears were smaller and rounder.

“PRECIOUS!!! We cannot feels it! It is gone! Where is the Precious!?”

“Um, are you alright, sirs?”

The being snapped its head up, its rotted teeth bared in a vicious grimace. “You! You dids this! Bring back the Precious to me!” It lunged at Dobby, hands outstretched to wrap around his throat. Dobby winced, but his instincts kicked in, and he snapped his fingers without thinking, reappearing ten feet away behind the creature that attacked him. However, when he opened his eyes, he saw his attacker floating in the air, shouting and flailing.

“In a strange place, we are,” croaked a third voice from behind the pillar. “Very strange indeed.”

Slowly the voice came into view, from a being even smaller than Dobby, leaning heavily on a gnarled cane with one hand, while the other was outstretched toward the screaming creature. The being was wizened, its green-tinged skin mottled with age. Beyond the color, though, Dobby thought he could have passed for a small house-elf.  
“I am Master Yoda. Behave yourself, you will, if I let you down?” Still suspended, the creature’s shouts finally died down, and he hung sullenly for a moment from nothing before being slowly placed on the ground. “Very good. Now, introduced myself, I have. Who are you?”

“I am Dobby, Master Yoda. Are you a house-elf?”

Yoda shook his head before turning his gaze questioningly to the third member of the group. He received a hacking cough in response. “Gollum! Gollum.”

“Very well, Gollum. Now, questions, we all have, I am sure. Disappeared and reappeared, you did, Dobby, and yet I do not sense the makings of a Jedi in you.”

“Dobby is no Jedi, Master Yoda.” He said the unfamiliar word slowly, feeling them in his mouth. “Dobby only used his magic to not be hurt.”

Yoda chuckled. “Magic. Many who do not know the Force call it magic. But use the Force, you did not.”

“No force, sir. Dobby would never use force. Dobby is a peaceful elf. Dobby must say, though. Dobby felt no magic from you when you held Gollum in the air, and Dobby can sense magic of all kinds.”

Gollum suddenly leapt at them again. Dobby snapped his fingers and disappeared again, while Yoda leapt nearly ten feet above him. They landed beside each other as Gollum splayed himself onto the grass, howling. “Let us go! We must find the Precious!”

“Much darkness in him, there is. Many years of fear and suffering.”

“Dobby suspected as much when Gollum attacked Dobby, sir.”

“Tainted, he is, by something I do not understand. Like the Dark Side, it is, but also not.”

Dobby stared at Gollum for a moment. “Dobby senses something too. It is like human magic, Dobby thinks, but old, very old.”

Gollum was muttering to himself, his voice changing pitch rapidly. “We must kill them and leave. We must find the Precious.” “Yes, yes, find the Precious, but maybe they can helps us! Maybe they know the way home to the Precious!” “They broughts us here!” “Then they will know the way!” “We will rip and tear the way from them.” “You dids that already, it didn’t work.” He coughed again, but when his head rose, it was with a much brighter expression than before. “Sméagol did not want to hurts you. We is only wanting the way home to the Precious, and the hobbitses!”

“Dobby is not sure he understands. Are you Gollum, or Sméagol?” He received a blank stare in response.

“Many beings, he is. Much darkness, and much light.” 

Dobby nodded, not understanding at all. “Dobby does not think you are a house-elf, at least.”

“Sméagol is no filthy elf!” He raised a hand in affront, then put it down as he stared at Dobby in confusion. “You are no elf either.”

“Of course Dobby is an Elf!”

“Elfs is tall and pale and nasty things. More like a hobbit, you are. Big nasty elf ears though.”

Dobby reached up to his ears instinctively. He could have sworn he saw Yoda’s hand twitch as though to do the same.

“From different worlds, we are. How we got here, I do not know, but work together to return, I am sure we must.”

“Dobby agrees. Dobby thinks the pillar must have something to do with this.”

The three of them approached the pillar. The runes seemed to glow slightly in the light. At the base of the pillar was a plaque with three indents upon it.  
“Sméagol does not like this. It stinks of old magics.”

“Master Sméagol has magic is his world too?” Dobby glanced triumphantly at Yoda, who paid this exchange no mind. Yoda’s eyes were closed, one hand above the plaque. “Lead us home, this will. But how, I do not know.”

“Dobby hopes it will be quick. Dobby will be need for the morning cleaning before the students are awake.”

Sméagol grimaced. “You works for stinky childrens?”

“Dobby likes his work, thanks. Much better than being owned by Master Malfoy.”

“You were owned? By a human?”

“All house-elves are. Well, almost all. Dobby and Winky are free elves. Winky still does not like it though. What does Sméagol do?”

“Sméagol helps the Hobbitses get to Mordor, and when we does, we will gets the Precious!”

“What is the Precious?”

“The Precious is… the Precious!”

Dobby rolled his eyes. “What about Master Yoda? What do you do?”

“Until young Skywalker returns, I do little. An advantage of getting old, it is.”

“Who is Master Skywalker?”

“A fool. Thinks he will become a Jedi, like his father. But the savior of the galaxy, he just might be. So wait, I must, for his return.” 

“Where did he go, Precious?”

“To fight wars. Neglects his training, he does. Dangerous. Too long he waits, but there is no time.”

“Sméagol knows much of waiting. Sméagol waited many years after the Precious was lost, with only the fishes and the goblinses.”

“Dobby knows how to wait too. Dobby waited a very long time while he was owned by the Malfoys.”

“Much in common, we have. But waiting will not help here. Help each other, we must.”

“To gets home?”

“How do we help each other, Master Yoda?”

“Unsure, I am. Fear, I sense in all of us, and in this stone. Revealed, the door will be, once the fear is gone.”

“Well, Dobby will try. Dobby thinks we should start with Master Yoda. What is it Master Yoda is afraid of?”

“In control of one’s fear, a Jedi Master is. But worried, I am, that young Skywalker will not return before I die. Felt the disturbance in the force, I did, when he learned of his father. Now he heals, but numbered, my days are.”

“Can Master Yoda go to Master Skywalker?

“Have a ship to get there, I do not.”

“Sméagol can help builds a ship! Much easier to catch fishes in the middle of the water than the sides!”

“A ship on water, I need not.”

Dobby and Sméagol shared a confused glance, but Dobby plowed on. “Well Master Yoda needs a plan then. What is the most important thing he needs to know?”

“Give into his fear, he must not.”

“Have you told Master Skywalker this before?”

“…Yes.”

“Then that is not most important, is it? Dobby thinks that telling him something new is more important.”

“Well, a sister, he has, but more important, his training is.”

“A sister! Master Skywalker does not know he has a sister?”

“More important, his training is!”

“Nothing is more important than family! Sméagol, don’t you agree?”

“Sméagol had family once, we thinks.” He frowned in confusion for a moment, then lit back up. “But precious is like family, and nothing is more important than the Precious!”

Yoda met their wide-eyed gazes briefly before huffing. “Very well. Tell Skywalker of his sister when he returns, I will.” As he spoke, one of the indents on the plaque began to glow brightly. 

“Done what must be done, we have. What about you, Dobby? Worry, I sense in you. Danger, too. In your future, much danger, but much bravery.”

“Dobby does not know what Dobby is scared of. The castle is sad since Master Dumbledore died, but Dobby is happy with his work. Master Abeforth has put Dobby to work in his shop, since the new Headmaster didn’t want Dobby.”

Yoda closed his eyes, hand outstretched. Dobby felt a strange tingling sensation in his mind, but couldn’t recognize the source. “An old friend, you fear for. Someone who helped you.”

“Harry Potter? Is Harry Potter in danger?”

“Not yet. Prepare yourself, you must, to do what must be done.”

“Dobby will do anything for Harry Potter! When the time comes Dobby will not hesitate!”

The second indent began to glow next to the first, slightly darker in color. Yoda and Dobby turned to Sméagol. “Much fear there is in you. Too much for us to help quickly. Find the problem we can fix, we must.”

“Sméagol mentioned the… hobbitses?”

Sméagol’s face darkened slightly. “Yes, tricksy hobbitses. The Master is nice, and he has the Precious, but the fat one is mean and nasty. The Master says we must be nice to the fat one, even though he is not nice to us. Makes us sleep out in the cold while they stay cozies in blankets. Gollum! Gollum!”

“Well, Dobby thinks calling him the ‘fat one’ might not be a good way to make him nicer.”

“Full of fear and anger, your journey is. Controlled, you must be, if you hope to reach its end.”

“If Sméagol is cold, though, Dobby has an idea.” He pulled the stack of hats from his head, plucking the topmost red-knit cap from the pile. “Here. Dobby has found himself much warmed since getting clothes to wear.”

Sméagol stared warily at Dobby’s outstretched hand for a moment, then loped closed and quickly snatched it. It took three tries before he managed to make it stay on his head, but when he did, his eyes were bright. “It is very cozies, yes! Almost as warm as the Precious!”

The third indent lit up dimly, and the light slowly began to trace its way up the pillar until the whole thing glowed, nearly to bright to look at.

“Now what?”

“Place our hands on the plaque, we must.”

“Sméagol gets to go home, yes?”

“Dobby thinks so, yes.”

They approached the plaque. Hands raised, they looked at each other once more.

“We hopes you find many tasty, wriggling fishes.”

“May the Force be with you.”

“Good luck, sirs.”


End file.
